I Almost Died–Part 1564

A pigeon attacked me this afternoon on my walk back from work. It flew at me and I screamed and ducked as it flashed its wings like it was the biggest badass. And I should mention it actually hovered over me to taunt me like an asshole. I was so scared that I almost ran out into the busy street and right into a bus, but I caught myself from going over the edge. I should mention that the bus wasn’t even moving, so I would have been running into a bus, not the bus into me. I wouldn’t even get money for any damage. Good thing I have ninja reflexes though. I really didn’t want to dirty my new shiny black sneakers.
The pigeon standing above me:

Me:

Besides my near-death experience, I’ve been pretty busy just finishing up school. Nothing ultra exciting to report except for a lot of reading and a lot of writing. But then again I only have six classes left so I suppose I can’t complain.

I mentioned before that I was getting a jump rope for Easter and I’m actually better at it than I thought. I’ve been telling people I’m going to be the jump rope champion of the world by the end of the summer, but I may reach that level way before. I was feeling really good about myself jumping, but then my brother came outside and took it from me and started doing all these fancy maneuvers like spins and one leg jumps. It’s not even like I can practice that in public because I’ll probably get tangled up in the rope and fall down. And it’s a really good workout and I’m always looking for different things to try.

My yoga mat is blue…We’ll see where this takes me when I start using it over the summer.

I can’t even talk about the Red Sox, they are so embarrassing. When they hit and score 12 runs, they lose because the pitching lets up 13 runs. When they pitch, they can’t hit. WHAT.THE.HELL???? Improve. I do love Dustin Pedroia though. He’s always hustling. I would like to take the Pedroia approach in my life. Never give up, fight the good fight, and go hard with everything. It shows heart if nothing else.

I weighed myself at home this weekend and it said I was down 1.6 pounds and I was feeling all good about myself. I get back to school and weigh myself on the scale there and it says I haven’t lost weight. That’s just annoying and rude. I can’t even just go by the scale at home because first of all the higher number is obviously going to stick with me, plus it’s here. And the other one is there, so when I weigh myself on Monday again it’s still going to tell me the higher number. I’m trying not to worry so much about the number and more about how I feel, but still, that’s just obnoxious. Way to kick a girl when she’s down!

I recently wrote an essay on airbrushing and compared it to my struggles with my weight, which I might write more about after I see what grade I got for an essay. But anyways, the point is, I go on a lot of women’s health websites just to usually see any good recipes or new workout moves, and try not to take everything seriously because of headlines talking about “the sexy workout.” I don’t look sexy when I work out. I look like there’s a dead rat on top of my head that used to be my hair and is now just a puffball, sweat drenches every single inch of me, especially in my lower regions which is gross, and if I’m wearing make-up it’s only because I’m too lazy to take it off before hand and by the end of it, it’s smudged and dripping down my face. And you know what? I like it when that happens because I feel like I’ve had a good workout. It pumps me up! So take your “sexy” workout and GO SUCK AN EGG! Not to mention, it’s the one time I’m allowed to look like a mess (not a hot mess, a mess; there are three levels I’ll get to later) and I am going to take full advantage!

Next post, prepare yourself for a possible rant on my obsession with Harry Potter.

BTW: Maybe the pigeons were sticking up for bird rights because I did this the other day:

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