I Guess I’m A Gardener Now





Trust, no one is more surprised than I am that this whole gardening thing is seeing some success. I have already dug into the fresh and delicious kale. Cucumbers are growing like crazy and one is a day away from being in my stomach. Tomatoes are popping up all of a sudden. The only plants not growing enthusiastically are my red pepper plants, which is a blow, but I see little seedlings….


Isn’t it beautiful? Gotta love the owls. I want a pet owl so BAD, but I hear they’re kind of assholes. Mine would bring me my mail, obviously.

To give you a nice mental image of my dedication and devotion to this little garden that could: The other day I had to chase away a frightening looking turkey with a hockey stick in my pajamas. He was getting a little too close for comfort. I’d have gotten that cucumber in the end anyways because what comes around goes around come Thanksgiving!! Gobble gobble that.

 Yesterday was a little traumatizing. My friend Molly and I decided to go hiking very innocently at a nice little (?) woods in a town over. We were doing great, hit about five miles and 780 calories burned, thinking we’re at the end and back to the car. Then I suggest, hey, let’s get 20 calories more so we can reach 800…..

11 miles and 1,440+ calories later we finally made it back to the car.


We got so lost and were nowhere near the end. We also walked in a circle at least twice and had no idea that we did so. Two people were nice enough to try and help us but failed. Or more likely, we failed them. Finally some woman just suggested we walk out to the street and follow the roads, which we did.

I’ve never been so happy to sit before. It was getting dark too, so it was terrifying. I think that the positive of this is that we would definitely win the Hunger Games, but only because we’d get so lost, no one would be able to find us.

Key lesson for wannabe hikers: Go somewhere where there’s good signage and with someone who maybe knows their way around the woods. 

Much respect to the first people who navigated this, or any country/land/whatever you wanna call it, they walked the crap out of it.

3 thoughts on “I Guess I’m A Gardener Now

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