As I was wandering around campus today in search of iced coffee because for some awful twist of fate, it’s HOT HOT HOT in October. Everyone knows that October is not supposed to be hot or cold. It’s supposed to be cool, so that you can survive wearing a cozy sweater and high boots during the day and at night pull on the sweatshirt and yoga pants, get yourself a warm cup of tea, and curl up with a
good book homework. But since it does happen to be warm and despite my princess-like narcissism, I cannot in fact control the weather, I was in hot pursuit of an iced coffee. And there’s a Dunkin Donuts on campus, so really it was almost as though I had to do it.
As I was speed-walking over before class, I almost stepped on what could only be described as either a gigantic worm or a very tiny snake. Don’t be fooled. Even a small snake, is a vicious snake. Perhaps even more so because it’s so small you can’t even see it coming.
Good thing my natural instinct is to always look down when I’m walking, so as to avoid any awkward eye contact or hesitant wave, and I caught the snake-worm in my sight before I stepped down on it, wearing a flip flop. Snake-worm juice could have sprayed on top of my toes…
Since I was in a sort of rush, I was walking at a fast clip, and in a difficult feat of natural athleticism, I was able to twist myself out of the way, almost fall over into the grass, but still run away from the snake-worm pretty quickly. I only screamed once as I didn’t want the snake-worm to hear my fear.
Fear that would have been justified because when I was about to step down on it, the snake-worm flounced its body up in the air and made a hissing noise at me. I’ll admit the hissing noise might now be a product of my imagination, however, looking back I do remember some sort of squealing coming from the snake-worm, so I will stand by it.
For future reference, if you find yourself about to step down on a snake-worm, just let it win the sidewalk and continue walking on the grass. You have to respect an animal that small who can physically lift itself up towards you without the use of arms, legs, or even a head really. I mean a worm (probably a snake) is literally just a tube of goo. Props, snake-worm.
Then, I was across the street from the Dunkins and kind of running because I was afraid the snake-worm was chasing me when a butterfly flew into my face. I actually can’t be sure that it was a butterfly and not for instance, a small bird, (it was probably a bird) because it hit me in the cheek and I only had a side view of it. So hard, I might add, that I think it left a small wing-mark on my face and blinded me from seeing its true identity of a bird. I can’t be sure though because I wasn’t about to stop anyone to one, admit that a small bird flew into my face and two, ask if said face was red.
By the time I got to Dunkins, I was so traumatized that I ordered two munchkins to go along with my iced coffee because I pretty much deserved it after getting attacked by a snake-worm and bird. Pumpkin and chocolate.